SingingWithTheVolumeUp

Party of Four: 34 weeks, emotional rollercoaster, nursery designs, and more pre-term labor scares

“Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves.” –Marcelene Cox

A little fun: Here is the link to a little prediction game we set up for Genesis. Take a guess at her weight and birth date. We will announce winners a few days after she is born. http://www.expectnet.com/games/BabyGenesis

Baby Notes: I tend to keep this baby notes section mainly informational, however, becoming a parent is a pretty emotional journey. Expressing personal emotions and feelings is risky in such a public forum, but I had to remember my sole purpose for creating this blog was to share my experience completely to help others realize they are not alone. I am pretty sure this emotional journey has been heightened for me due to my limited mobility and being put on bedrest since four and a half months, but I am very cautious of making any excuses or giving some rational and logical explanation to my feelings (I personally feel as women we tend to do this a lot, but that is a whole other blog post).

The day I found out I was going to be a mom changed my life forever. I immediately, literally immediately, began changing my mindset about several relationships I had in my life, my relationship with God, my marriage, my confidence within myself, even child rearing practices that I thought I would never even consider. The first few months I didn’t take it so serious, then as my belly grew so did my desire to try and “fix” all of these internal conflicts that I had with the before mentioned categories. For weeks, maybe even months I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster. This was demonstrated through several days of isolating (sometimes weeks), a lot of crying, and a TON of pretending that everything was okay when people asked. As I grew deeper into this process I started questioning friendships and why I had been drawn to certain people, why I always felt that I needed to be everyone’s cheerleader, my obsession with being understood and accepted by others, my fixation on being fulfilled through work performance and educational accolades, and the innate need to continue to support people even when I wasn’t getting any in return. But this process also helped me to become a best friend to my husband, learn how to say no even when pressured, securing more confidence in my truth that raising this child is the most important job I will have on this planet besides being a wife, and identify my needs (though I am still working on fulfilling them).

I have started to accept that fact (started) that all these questions don’t have to be answered before my daughter arrives. At first I felt it was a disservice to her if I didn’t. She didn’t ask to be brought into this world and I owed it to her to be at my best no matter how much or little time was given. Then I realized how completely unrealistic that was. I do believe that once you decide to become a parent that it is your responsibility to better yourself, however I think the amazing life lessons our little ones can learn from us by merely watching us become better people is also so vital. Overall I don’t think I will ever be the same Monique I was before getting pregnant; sometimes that makes me elated and sometimes it causes immense loneliness. I am learning to take the good with the bad, develop new ways to cope, and trusting in God’s plan.

This past month in pictures:

Sneak peek of the nursery. Byron actually has a baby picture of him with this exact frog! I can't wait for Genesis to have a matching picture like Daddy. — Sneak peek of the nursery. Byron actually has a baby picture of him with this exact frog! I can’t wait for Genesis to have a matching picture like Daddy.

In the wake of pre-term labor contractions Byron went and made the MOST amazing pain reliever!

Weeks 31-34: There are so many updates from these past few weeks so I put them in bullet point to keep me from being long winded.

–Maternity Pictures: We had our home maternity shoot which was tons of fun! I am a little sad that we didn’t get any outside shots but I think being at home really captured our journey during this pregnancy. We have about another week before they come back and can’t wait to share them with you all.

–3D/4D Ultrasound: We actually had to go twice because Genesis did not want to look at the camera the first time (for some reason this girl is in love with sleeping head down on my placenta). The second time we went back she still wasn’t willing to put on a show until the last five minutes where she actually gave us a glimpse of her dimple on her left cheek! I had dimples on both cheeks so I am hoping for a little mini me in this category. She also had a lot of hair!!!

–Nursery: Genesis’ nursery is officially underway. We don’t think we will actually completely finish it until she is about three months old. Her room is doubling as our guest room as well, so with the furniture needed for guests we can not fit all her furniture in it until after we completely transfer it to her room.

–Parenting Classes: We have finished 6 out of 7 of our parenting classes which have been pretty fun. It’s pretty cool getting to know other couples throughout the process and one of the couples actually had their baby and sent pictures which was pretty cool.

–Belly buds: I started using belly buds for Genesis. I made her a little playlist of some of my favorite songs (including a little gospel, country, and of course John Mayer). Byron has recorded two books for her I play for her too. She literally sits still when Byron voices comes on, it is the sweetest thing.

–Birth Plan: We finished and presented our birth plan to our doctor, which she took very well. The hospital has approved for me to take my placenta home after a quick blood test which I am very excited about! If you want a copy of our birth plan shoot me an email and I am more than willing to share it: Monique.a.dozier@gmail.com

–Baby Shower: We had our baby shower which was a BLAST! We got rained out of the backyard so we changed to an inside location at my church which was such a blessing. I was so overwhelmed with love that day and can’t thank all our friends and family enough for everything. It was a day I won’t forget. Check out my Facebook page for more pictures I will be posting very soon!

–Weight Loss: In the past two weeks I have lost almost five pounds which made me really nervous. Will be talking to doctor about this at our appointment this week.

–Pre-term labor: We have had a few more pre-term labor scares which we took a lot better this time around. I immediately laid down, elevated my feet, and Byron went into action with massages. I am so happy to labor with my husband. He has really just jumped into being a great birth partner!

34 Weeks! I looked so drained in this picture, but hey this is pregnancy!

Baby Updates:

Today the baby is the size of: large cantaloupe

Cravings: Chili Cheese Fries

Next Appointment: August 8th (officially start our weekly appointments)

Mochi Update: No updates this month.

Mommy feels: moments of high energy and complete exhaustion, more nauseous, and some lightheadness.

Coming next week: Hospital Bag!

Thank you for joining us on this wonderful journey!

Always with love,
Modo

Party of Four: 30 Week Update, Placenta Encapsulation, and Midnight Snacking

“Never raise your hand to your children – it leaves your midsection unprotected” -Robert Orben

Baby Notes: Are you seriously going to eat that? I have gotten TONS of questions (i.e. questions, criticism, and outright disapproving faces) about why we have chosen to encapsulate my placenta after Genesis’ birth. I have included the website of the woman that Byron and I are using to encapsulate below to get an expert’s advice and opinion of the benefits of ingesting your placenta. For me personally I have decided to encapsulate for two main reasons: increase flow of breast milk and regulate hormones. The women in my family have ranged from having “just enough milk” to producing enough milk for multiple children at once. I am not sure where I will fall in that line. Breastfeeding is so important to me and I want to increase my chances as much as possible. Postpartum depression is very real and rarely talked about. With Genesis being my first I am not sure how I will react emotionally after the baby. I keep it no secret that I am already an emotional being and want to protect myself from baby blues as much as possible. Placenta encapsulation for some may be a very strange thing, however, I wanted to at least start a conversation that some may have never participated in.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Are you going to actually eat your placenta?-Encapsulating the placenta is a two day process. The first day I will have it picked up from the hospital then a family member will meet the tech at my house. She will start the process of dehydrating the placenta. The second day she will come back and grind it into capsules, in which I will take for the first few weeks after the birth of my daughter. However there are several ways to get nutrients from placenta, which do at times include making a stew, smoothie, or tea.

Do you take your prenatal vitamin in addition to your placenta pill?
-Yes

Are there any risks to ingesting your placenta?-Very little. I was informed that the only time I should stop taking my pills is if I get a cold or the flu as it could speed up the process of the illness

How much does it cost?-Typically around $250 for the entire process

These past few weeks in pictures:

Thank you all for your votes! This will be the diaper bag that we take to the hospital for Baby Genesis!

Weeks 29-30: It’s been a busy few weeks Mommy in regards to planning. We are in the process of deciding on our birth plan preferences, searching for a pediatrician, booked our maternity photo shoot, and signed our contract with the woman that will encapsulate our placenta. Since we are getting closer for Genesis to arrive we also have started having doctor’s appointments every two weeks. At our last appointment we had an unscheduled ultrasound with our OBGYN to make sure Genesis was not measuring too far ahead. We were so excited that my brother and nephew were able to join us and see Genesis in action. Doctor reported she is measuring PERFECT and is already 3lbs!!!! Can we say someone is going to be a little chunky monkey? We also have been packing up the house to move in a few months, but recently found out that our move may be postponed. We continue to be presented with so many great opportunities, but I must say it does create a bit of anxiety not knowing. But, we can NOT complain at all because we continue to be so blessed!

Today the baby is the size of: a cucumber

Cravings: Fruit, fish, and spicy food

Next Appointment: July 12th

Mochi Update: Mochi turns 1 tomorrow!!! Happy birthday Mochi!

Mommy feels: full of energy during the day! However almost every night I wake up between 3:00am and 3:30am starving or with terrible leg cramps. Byron has literally woken up to me cooking Top Ramen and eating string cheese in the dark in the kitchen. HA! In addition I have also been having the most invasive heartburn! Even taking my vitamins makes me want to run and grab the Tums. We are getting so excited about the very near arrival of our baby girl! Byron and I spend so much time playing the guessing game: will she have my dimples and his patience? Will she have hair when she is born? Who will she cry less with? So soon we won’t have to guess!!!!

Coming next week: 3D/4D ultrasound pictures, maternity shoot preview, and our first parenting class!

Thank you for joining us on this wonderful journey!

Always with love,
Modo

Party of Four: Third Trimester Update, Summer Fun, Writing a New Piece, and YouTube?

“One of the virtues of being very young is that you don’t let the facts get in the way of your imagination.”

Baby Notes: Since conceiving I have become completely and utterly obsessed with YouTube. I originally started watching a few mothers on the site to get more information about having a natural birth and then one day I discovered the suggestion column! In thirty minutes I was following “natural hair moms”, “breast feeding moms”, “natural mamas”, Endo moms”, “stay at home moms”, and “Wendy Williams”. A few weeks ago after following a mom for nearly five months she went into labor and I literally could not stop checking for updates to her videos. I started to feel almost connected to her in a way even though we lived over 2, 000 miles away from each other, had never spoken, and didn’t even know each other’s first names. But as I watched her home birth I shed tears. Clearly I need more friends! But honestly the site allows people to share so many life changing moments with the world and in a way creates a real life journal for your children one day.

"To YouTube or not to YouTube....that is the question." — “To YouTube or not to YouTube….that is the question.”

Then I thought maybe I should create a YouTube page! Blogging about my pregnancy I have gotten quite a few questions about some of my choices for the baby, become part of an entirely new network of parents, and I seriously just LOVE sharing moments with people. I hurriedly logged into YouTube to create a new account and started brainstorming channel names, then I stopped in middle of my creative flow and realized if I do this I have to actually put my baby on here! The X button couldn’t have gotten pushed fast enough. For some reason posting video of my child started to concern me. Why you ask? I have no freaking idea. Maybe I think I will develop a stalker and they will try and come and find me and my family…self-absorbed much?! Who says you “develop” a stalker, like you just create one in your living room or something…..Monique get a hold of your self. I swear since I have become a mom I have become so certain about some issues and even more confused about others. What are your thoughts on sharing pictures and video of children on public websites? How do you protect yourself if you do?

Summer Fun:

My friend Ebony and I are due just two weeks apart from each other! We seriously probably were sisters in another life: we grew up in the same city, went to the same undergrad and graduate school, joined the same sisterhood, and now are having our first children just two weeks apart. She is expecting her first son early October and though I was on bedrest I couldn't miss her baby shower! This picture totally captures us with no words. — My friend Ebony and I are due just two weeks apart from each other! We seriously probably were sisters in another life: we grew up in the same city, went to the same undergrad and graduate school, joined the same sisterhood, and now are having our first children just two weeks apart. She is expecting her first son early October and though I was on bedrest I couldn’t miss her baby shower! This picture totally captures us with no words.

My nephew/godson celebrated both his 6th birthday and graduating from Kindergarten! It was so hard not to burst into tears. He has gotten so big so fast. Feels just like yesterday I was rushing to the hospital to see him for the first time.

Boys crazy hat fishing trip to celebrate Alex graduation.

All my siblings and their children on Memorial Day!

We threw a surprise party for my mother's birthday this year! I can't express how much I love this woman. Being pregnant with my first makes me realize just how much a mother loves her child. Sometimes as we grow up we forget this. I only hope one day I can be as beautiful as she is. I have one hot mama. — We threw a surprise party for my mother’s birthday this year! I can’t express how much I love this woman. Being pregnant with my first makes me realize just how much a mother loves her child. Sometimes as we grow up we forget this. I only hope one day I can be as beautiful as she is. I have one hot mama.

My honey celebrating his first father's day! — My honey celebrating his first father’s day!

Father's Day Relaxation — Father’s Day Relaxation

Some of you may remember a few months back I featured a few of my sorority sisters that were all expecting or had their first baby. Well Heather was the first to have her baby out of our little group! How euphoric does she look right here! It makes it so real that Genesis is on her way. I am SOOOOOOOOOO happy for Heather and her family she is such a beautiful person (inside and out). Can't wait to meet this little cutie soon. — Some of you may remember a few months back I featured a few of my sorority sisters that were all expecting or had their first baby. Well Heather was the first to have her baby out of our little group! How euphoric does she look right here! It makes it so real that Genesis is on her way. I am SOOOOOOOOOO happy for Heather and her family she is such a beautiful person (inside and out). Can’t wait to meet this little cutie soon.

Weeks 25-28:

I can’t believe we are already in the third trimester! These past few weeks have flown by. At our last doctor’s appointment I was measuring 10 weeks early again, which concerned the doctor a little. She is pretty sure it is my fibroid growing again but she ordered an ultrasound for a few weeks just to make sure. I also took my glucose test (still waiting on results), which I am a bit nervous about since my cravings last month was sweets!

We also had a little preterm labor scare again a few weeks ago. I started having some wicked contractions that just wouldn’t ease up for nearly thirty minutes. After that we decided to expedite preparing a hospital bag and creating a little emergency stash of important things (bag of diapers, washed onesies, etc…) just in case our little princess arrives early. I am also preparing a meeting with my labor team 🙂 This just consists of my husband, mother, and sisters, but they all have pretty important roles that I have asked of them for when I go into labor and I think it’s good just to be all on one page. Other than that we are just gearing up for the baby shower next month and slowly packing boxes since we will be moving just short of 4-6 weeks after Genesis is born.

Baby Updates:

We are into our 7th month of pregnancy!

28 weeks and 1 day After forcing my brother to take this picture over and over because I thought he was taking unflattering pics of me I realized OMG I am JUST that big. — 28 weeks and 1 day
After forcing my brother to take this picture over and over because I thought he was taking unflattering pics of me I realized OMG I am JUST that big.

Today the baby is the size of: a small cabbage

Cravings: Nothing really. Cravings have calmed down a bit and appetite has gone back to normal. I really don’t enjoy sitting down and eating full meals all the time but prefer to snack.

Next Appointment: June 28th

Mochi Update: Here is a recent picture we got from Mochi’s new family!

Mochi will celebrate her 1st birthday on July 7th! Happy early Birthday Mochi!!

Mommy feels: nauseous! I’ve been having some first trimester symptoms again recently: fatigue, leg cramps, achy, and nauseous. These past few weeks I have also been having sharp shooting pains running down my leg. I believe Genesis is sitting on one of my nerves because it only last for about thirty minutes and then eases up. My energy is back up and I have been totally nesting (washing clothes and cleaning out space for her arrival). I have also been feeling a lot more creative lately: finishing her blanket, working on a scrapbook, and actually started writing a new piece for blog. I kind of forget that those pieces were what helped me stat the blog in the first place. So look out for a new piece in a few weeks.

Thank you for joining us on this wonderful journey!

Always with love,
Modo

Hospital Bag: Help Us Decide

We are packing our hospital bag and want your help! Genesis has three diaper bags (don’t ask lol) and we would love your help with choosing which one we will take to the hospital. The bag with the most votes will be revealed during the what’s in my hospital bag post in two weeks.

Party of Four: Name reveal, 6 month update, and Gift Haul

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother” -Theodore Hesburgh

What’s in a name?:Besides getting pregnant I think the hardest thing during this pregnancy has been choosing a name. Once we found out it was a girl, I thought I had settled on a name, we had even chosen a nickname (Yaya). But, the more we researched the origins and said it out loud we felt like something was lacking. We went back to the drawing board and wrote down everything we wanted in a name: a biblical connection, a strong meaning, and we wanted her initials to spell out a word (weird I know, but both Byron and I have initials that spell words and we think it’s hilarious). I would present Byron with names every night and he would turn them down. After weeks it actually started to cause some tension between the two of us. After spending hours registering for the baby shower we sat and had lunch with my mom and sisters. We told them about the trouble we were having with choosing a name. They threw out a few that Byron shot down quickly (He wanted his baby girl to have the perfect name). And then it was like the stars aligned and my eldest sister said what about “Genesis”? Everyone at the table got quiet. “She is the beginning for you two, it has a biblical reference and a strong meaning”. I looked at Byron and he smiled! Of course we had to listen to my sister congratulate herself for naming her niece (LOL), but another beautiful story to share with our daughter about the love of her family.

Then someone said what about the initials? That is when Byron stepped in. He said “Her middle name will begin with an O to symbolize who we owe this baby to in the first place (G.O.D)”. And just like that I fell in love with him all over again. I told Byron he could have the honor of choosing her middle name with no push back from me. He still is working on the perfect name which he will reveal when he is ready. The funny part is that everyone in my family was so use to calling her “Yaya” that from time to time they still do. She will either be very confused or laugh a lot at this little unique nickname of hers.

Baby Notes / Gift Haul: This week instead of choosing a hot topic about pregnancy, I decided to take some time and thank everyone that has sent precious little gifts to Genesis and I. We have also had several friends that have sent gift cards, which have come in handy already (thank you Angela and Tiffany)!!!. I would also would like to take this time and thank everyone that has sent us such beautiful words of encouragement and prayers, came to visit, cooked us meals, and even sent books and movies to watch during my bed rest. I am just so humbled. The kindness you all share truly baffles me beyond words. I know I use the word “blessed” a lot, but please do not think I use it lightly. I am reminded of God thru you all daily.

My sister had a daughter almost two years ago and had a TON of clothes that she never used or were gently worn. It would be impossible to take pictures of everything she has given me (including a diaper genie, wipe warmer, clothes, blankets, etc...I am one lucky sister). But, one thing I love the most is my niece's shoe collection she is passing down to Genesis. These are so adorable. Thanks sis! — My sister had a daughter almost two years ago and had a TON of clothes that she never used or were gently worn. It would be impossible to take pictures of everything she has given me (including a diaper genie, wipe warmer, clothes, blankets, etc…I am one lucky sister). But, one thing I love the most is my niece’s shoe collection she is passing down to Genesis. These are so adorable. Thanks sis!

A sorority sister (dada) of mine Heather brought over the most adorable stuff I have seen in a long time. Again I was so humbled by the amount of things given and it was so hard to pick my favorites to show here. Heather is due with her baby this summer and I can't wait to raise our children together. — Another sorority sister (dada) of mine Heather brought over the most adorable stuff I have seen in a long time. Again I was so humbled by the amount of things given and it was so hard to pick my favorites to show here. Heather is due with her baby this summer and I can’t wait to raise our children together.

My sorority sister Linda has been so amazing throughout this pregnancy. She actually sent my very first mother's day card. I believe it was towards the beginning of my second trimester when I arrived home and saw a little gift waiting for me on the doorstep. I opened it up and Linda had sent this wonderful gift! I can't wait to make prints of Genesis' little feet and hands when she is born. Thank you so much dada Linda! — My sorority sister Linda has been so amazing throughout this pregnancy. She actually sent my very first mother’s day card. I believe it was towards the beginning of my second trimester when I arrived home and saw a little gift waiting for me on the doorstep. I opened it up and Linda had sent this wonderful gift! I can’t wait to make prints of Genesis’ little feet and hands when she is born. Thank you so much dada Linda!

If you ever meet my father you will know he was blessed with the gift of gab ( I think I get it from him lol). Well he has been telling everyone on his route that I am pregnant and one of the ladies actually got a bag of clothes together for Genesis. Truly a blessing. These are just a few of the many things she sent. Before I could even get out a proper thank you so was already getting ready to send me more. The kindness of strangers humble me. — If you ever meet my father you will know he was blessed with the gift of gab ( I think I get it from him lol). Well he has been telling everyone on his route that I am pregnant and one of the ladies actually got a bag of clothes together for Genesis. Truly a blessing. These are just a few of the many things she sent. Before I could even get out a proper thank you she was already getting ready to send me more. The kindness of strangers humble me.

I have shared this picture before but I couldn't leave it out of the gift haul post. My mother actually bought Genesis her very first gift ever! A beautiful baby picture frame (we are hoping to decorate her nursery with a Safari theme). — I have shared this picture before but I couldn’t leave it out of the gift haul post. My mother actually bought Genesis her very first gift ever! A beautiful baby picture frame (we are hoping to decorate her nursery with a Safari theme).

I would have to say this gift surprised me the most! So much so we didn't open it for days. It was a few days before mother's day and my husband told me to not open any packages that arrived at the house because he was waiting on a gift he ordered for me. When this arrived I sat it by the door and waited in suspense. It wasn't until the day before mother's day that he took the packages in the back and I heard him say "What is this?" It was actually a gift sent all the way from Texas from an old coworker of his. I have never met his coworker which is why I thought it was even more sweet! Thank you so much Heather! — I would have to say this gift surprised me the most! So much so we didn’t open it for days. It was a few days before mother’s day and my husband told me to not open any packages that arrived at the house because he was waiting on a gift he ordered for me. When this arrived I sat it by the door and waited in suspense. It wasn’t until the day before mother’s day that he took the packages in the back and I heard him say “What is this?” It was actually a gift sent all the way from Texas from an old coworker of his. I have never met his coworker which is why I thought it was even more sweet! Thank you so much Heather!

Aaron is one of those friends you tell other friends about! He is always surprising us with funny saying or crazy adventures. So when this arrived in the mail I didn't have to take two guesses who it was from lol! After giggling a bit I realized how great it was and how wonderful it was to actually get a little present for me and not just baby. Thank you Aaron! — Aaron is one of those friends you tell other friends about! He is always surprising us with funny saying or crazy adventures. So when this arrived in the mail I didn’t have to take two guesses who it was from lol! After giggling a bit I realized how great it was and how wonderful it was to actually get a little present for me and not just baby. Thank you Aaron!

The women in my sisterhood are truly like my family and Ebony is definitely family. She surprised us with this cute little onesie during our last get together. As you all can tell I am obsessed with animals! After spending four months in Kenya during my college study abroad I fell in love with all things safari. Thank you Ebony. Ebony is also expecting her first baby this fall!!!

Weeks 21-24: I have officially been placed on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy so I have picked up the art of sleeping in, shifting through Netflix and Hulu recommendations and gotten quite addicted to the game Restaurant Story. One exciting hobby I have started is crocheting ( I know! Who am I?). I am actually crocheting the blanket that I am bringing Genesis home from the hospital in. I am no Martha Stewart yet, but I love that she will have something hand made from her mommy. I also got to celebrate my first mother’s day. It’s a family tradition for the women in my family to spend the day in Palm Springs, but since I was restricted to very minimal movement we forfeited the trip this year and spent the day getting pedicures and watching movies.

Celebrating my first mother's day — Celebrating my first mother’s day

Baby Updates:

We are into our sixth month of pregnancy!

Today the baby is the size of: a cantaloupe (on week 24)

Cravings: SWEETS! I am addicted to sour straws right now.

Next Appointment: June 6

Mochi Update: Mochi has officially been rehomed with some high school friends of ours. A few blogs ago I said that Byron and I were deciding if we were going to move and we have officially decided that we are (and we can not have dogs). Therefore we didn’t want to drag out the process of finding a good home for her. We talked with a few people and even turned down an offer because it just didn’t feel right. When Byron’s friend said he was looking it was perfect! He has two children and will reside only 15 minutes away from us when we make the move, so we get to see her whenever we want. Byron took her over to introduce her to the kids and she was already so happy. She has a backyard to play in and has already started sleeping in the bed with the kids. It’s almost like an open adoption for us. They send us pictures and updates all the time. Mochi will always be a part of our family and I am excited to take Genesis to meet her in the future.

Mommy feels: tired and achy! The reason I was placed on bed rest was due to pre term labor contractions and pelvic pressure. The pain has started to get much better while on bed rest, but they have not disappeared completely. Sometimes even walking around the house will trigger a contraction. It’s not fun, but I am glad that it still has yet to taint my love for being pregnant. Genesis has started to move a bit more these weeks and its exciting to feel her little kicks (except when they are on my bladder).

Thank you for joining us on this wonderful journey!

Always with love,
Modo

Party of Four: Yay it’s a Girl!……oh shit it’s a girl……

“No one has yet fully realized the wealth of sympathy, kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child. The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure.” – Emma Goldman

After being informed at our last ultrasound appointment that we would have to wait a long 10 more days to find out the sex of the baby, I went into complete crazy mom mode! Literally Byron thought I was going to have to be committed when I didn’t find out the sex at our scheduled appointment. The next day I scheduled a gender reveal appointment at a 3D/4D ultrasound agency to ease my mind. Sure it sounds crazy…hell it was crazy, but I just couldn’t wait any longer. I am sure when we plan for baby #2 that we will look back on this and laugh….or secretly do it again and not tell anybody.

Baby Notes: Finding out this little one inside me was a girl will go down as one of the most exciting moments in my life. I immediately began to plan her take home outfit, look up ballet classes, and even researched women making strides in male dominated fields. Then I realized….oh shit it’s a girl! Periods, boyfriends, and that block of time when every girl absolutely hates their mother!!!! How in the world would I get through this???? And if she was ever so blessed with the personality of her mother I could look forward to those wonderful moments when you sit and think did my child just sass me without my knowing. In the 7th grade I swore I was in love with the boy I thought I would marry. We would literally watch music videos on the phone together….WHO WATCHES TV AND JUST HOLDS THE PHONE? It was such a juvenile love. But, even thinking back on it now I can truly say I was in love. I was in the only kind of love that I knew to be true at that age. My mother watched with a hawk eye, but never really made me feel like a goober for liking this boy so much. We actually dated off and on for several years, but ultimately the relationship ended tragically….because what tweenage hormone driven relationship actually ends in a fairytale? I cried for days…days! I was heartbroken. When finding out I was having a daughter I reflected back to this moment in my life and thought….OH LORD PLEASE DON’T LET MY DAUGHTER RUN UP MY PHONE BILL!

Sure some say that girls come with way more complicated life choices than boys. But, I say…nothing will take away that moment of sheer joy when I place her veil over her face, the laughter that will ensue when we shop for her first bra, the tears I get to dry when a guy breaks her young heart. As a mother I will get to have those moments with her and that is worth every day she will drive me crazy as a teenager.

Weeks 17-20:

These past few weeks have been all about planning for the baby shower. It’s a tradition in my family that the sisters plan the baby shower for each other. I have helped plan three showers for my amazing nieces and nephews and I have to say I am ELATED to finally have one planned for me. Byron and I have always been backyard party folks (never liked too much of a fuss made over us), so we decided to go with a Baby-Q theme: good food, good company, and good music.

Baby Shower Registry Day! 3 hours in Babies R' Us will make you go crazy! — Baby Shower Registry Day! 3 hours in Babies R’ Us will make you go crazy!

Baby Dozier's first clothes — Baby Dozier’s first clothes

Baby Updates:

We are into our fifth month of pregnancy!

Today the baby is the size of: a banana

Cravings: fish, light and refreshing foods (salads, fruit, fruit juice (that counts right!))

Next Appointment: May 2nd

Mochi Update: Her bad behaviors have reduced quite a bit since Byron and I have started sending her to day board a few days a week and she was even highlighted as “Puppy of the Week”! However, since the staff absolutely adores her she is rarely in her puppy run or crate, makes for a very whiny dog when she gets home. She constantly wants to be held or literally tucked under my feet. While it may sound very adorable, almost face planting after tripping over a 5 pound dog is no bueno.

In other Mochi news…Byron and I were offered a great opportunity that we are still thinking over that will cause us to relocate for approximately a year. However the new place does not accept dogs. We are still thinking things over and have a few more months before we make a firm decision, but the anxiety of potentially having to place Mochi right before having a baby is causing quite the anxiety in our home.

Mommy feels: very emotional lately! I thank God for Byron’s patience with me on a daily basis. I seriously am up and down day by day. There have been many tears of joy and extreme insanity lol! I can laugh now that I am slowing starting to be able to control my emotions, slightly. Raging hormones and change in temperament is something that a lot of people joke about while being pregnant, but it is not always a laughing matter. There were moments I truly felt extreme sadness which caused moments of isolation. When Byron would ask about my mood I literally could not pinpoint events that caused me to feel the way I was. While I am still trying to get a grasp on things I have decided to just become proactive in relief when these moments happen. I notice I am happier when the windows in the house are open, music is on, and honestly sometimes when I have nothing or no one to care for. There have been days I have dropped Mochi off at day board just to have time to come home and have an absolute quiet house. I now have to do what’s best for me to make sure this little one has the best environment to grow and thrive in.

Thank you for joining us on this wonderful journey!

Always with love,
Modo

Party of Four: Just enjoy the moment

“Children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate” -Anonymous

Baby Notes: These past few weeks have been nothing but jammed packed, and honestly my anxiety about planning for the baby has not made it any easier to cope with. I find myself literally sitting down almost every night writing down exact figures of how much items will cost me for the baby when he/she arrives, figuring out how to save money ahead of time, researching how to avoid breast milk from drying out, and on and on and on. Without fail almost every person I talk with says “Just enjoy being pregnant, everything will work out”.

I smile and nod, but in the back of my mind I am screaming “WHO IS GOING TO WORK IN ORDER FOR THEM TO WORK OUT???” Then I got a call that changed my life. I was informed that we lost one of the most influential people in my life: a man that treated me like one of his own, a man I deemed my godfather, the man that gave me my first job and taught me how to read a map. Bro. Payton was what I called him, but devastated was what I felt. At his service I listened to person after person tell beautiful stories about how valuable they made him feel; how when they spoke with him there seemed to be no one else more important. People remembered how he made them feel, not always exactly what he did. I realized that no matter how much I planned for this little miracle of mine that it wasn’t the type of diapers they wore that would be remembered, but how much I kissed them goodnight and hugged them when they were down. I still haven’t quite figured out exactly how to juggle being in the moment and planning for the evident perfectly, but I can say when my niece reaches for a kiss, my iPad gets put down.

Weeks 13-16: As far as appointments go, Byron and I had the wonderful opportunity to meet with a specialist to discuss how my fibroids might complicate the remainder of my pregnancy and delivery. Our specialist was nothing short of the most passionate doctor I have ever met. He not only offered advice on how to address possibly post-partum complications, but also how to just live life more healthy and from a place of happiness and gratitude. I have had very limited pain with my fibroid since my week of bed rest and I am currently deciding to believe that everything will be just as God has planned for our little one to enter this world.

I don’t take it for granted that I am surrounded by absolute amazing women in my life. So again I am so blessed to now have ongoing monthly fellowship with three of my beautiful college friends that I also get to call “sistas”. We all are a part of one of the most beautiful sisterhoods that was formed at the University of Redlands entitled “WRW”. We all are either expecting or parenting our first child. It was like being amongst the “gurus” of pregnancy when meeting with these ladies a few weeks ago. After our brunch we got to spend some magical time at a beachfront park with Lisa’s daughter, Sirena (pictured below).

Meeting Sirena for the first time. I think I was way more excited than she was!

Speaking of good times, Byron, baby, and I got to celebrate Uncle Patrick’s birthday with him this year (Byron’s Brother). Byron’s brothers and I have known each other since we were kids and I am so excited to watch them play sports and spoil their little niece or nephew.

Last week I got the chance to watch my niece and nephew play in a basketball game in our hometown. It was so surreal for me as I was in the room when my niece was delivered; now she is almost taller than me. After the game I took a quick shot of of all the kids after realizing that all the cousins on my side of the family were together for the first time in months. Very soon Baby Dozier will be sitting right with them!!!

Baby Updates

We are at the top of month four!!! Time is flying by.

Today the baby is the size of: a turnip

Cravings: anything anybody else is eating, fish

Next Appointment: April 5th

Mochi Update: It is getting quite difficult caring for Mochi in recent weeks. Byron and I are gone so much working and I feel terrible how much time she spends alone. We are currently trying to figure out alternative solutions to make sure she is getting the attention she needs but let’s just say we are feeling her wrath of isolation. She has start doing things like peeing in the house again and biting me when she doesn’t get her way. SOMEBODY HELP!!!! lol

Mommy feels: Pretty good!!!!! We are hoping next time the blog is updated that we will have very exciting news about the baby for you all!

Thank you for joining us on this wonderful journey!

Always with love,

Modo

Party of Four: So have you always had a problem releasing gas, or did that start when you got pregnant? (Week 12)

“Never try to make your son or daughter another you; one is enough” –Arnold Glasow

Today officially marks the start of my second trimester and I couldn’t be happier! It means it is one day closer to meeting the new love of my life. Week 12 was filled with birthday celebrations, visits with family, bed rest orders, and acupuncture appointments (never a dull moment). However, before jumping into the details of the week, I wanted to pick a short topic every week that had been a discussion with my husband, friends, or doctors and present it to you all. I absolutely love to hear feedback about how other people have utilized a resource or worked out a problem, so please feel free to drop a line in the comment section below about this week’s topic.

Baby Notes: This week was all about “treatments”. After being prescribed pain medication to assist with reducing severe cramps caused by fibroids, I felt very limited in alternative options to pain management. The doctors informed me that I could either take medication or go seek acupuncture; which at the time I wasn’t too sure I was able to afford. During the first few days I would cut the recommended dosage in half to reduce the amount of medication the baby was taking into their system; however that would leave me in terrible agony all day. Days later I went and spoke with an acupuncturists and just being in her presence made me remember all the alternative treatments I had utilized before getting pregnant to control pain including eating clean, exercising, and herbal supplements. What are some alternative treatments you utilize in your daily life? Did you utilize a certain treatment during your pregnancy that was judged by others? How did you handle it?

Week 12: This week started out all about the girls. I was able to spend some much needed quality time with my sisters, mom, and little princess niece Zoe. At just a year and a half Zoe teaches me every day that it’s never too early to get on your fashion game. It was a nice calm weekend, that included a lot of sleeping on the couch, playing with the kids in the backyard, and attending a wonderful church service together. FYI Zoe refused to take her sunglasses off the entire church service. After a nice Sunday morning, my older sis and I travelled down to Long Beach to visit with my Pops for a bit and then celebrate my little sister’s birthday.

Throughout the day Sunday I started to notice some frequent, but mild pains in my abdomen. I didn’t pay too much attention to them as I had experienced something quite similar in the beginning of my pregnancy due to the slight growth of the fibroid. By Sunday evening I was in full fledge bent over pain. Monday morning I called my doctor and scheduled an emergency appointment. That evening Byron took me into my OBGYN. We immediately checked on the baby first and Byron let out nothing short of a squeal when he saw our little one kicking and bouncing around. I have never seen him so excited in my life. It was the first time we had seen the baby actually that active. After making sure the baby was ok the doctor continued to scan my stomach and quickly noted that my fibroid had tripled in size since my 6 week appointment. She noted that the fibroid was so large that it was causing me to carry as if I was 22 weeks pregnant. The pain was associated with the fibroid outgrowing its blood supply. We were given the option to commence pain meds and stay on bed rest for one week to see if that reduced pain. In addition we were given a referral to a few acupuncturists.

This week the baby is the size of a peach! My fibroid is the size of a grapefruit; combine that with my already expanded uterus its getting quite full in there. — This week the baby is the size of a peach! My fibroid is the size of a grapefruit.

The next few days were pure agony as I attempted to taper the pain medication to lower the chances of the baby getting addicted to them and the fibroid continuing to shoot off sharp pains every 3-5 minutes. I literally woke up every 45 minutes to 2 hours to try and find relief in another position. Days later the pain slowly began to decrease enough to where I could walk to the kitchen alone and eventually to the car. We quickly made an appointment with the acupuncturist. She turned out to be quite healing and comforting. After just one session I felt tremendously better. I have since stopped all pain medication and decided to tackle the remainder of my healing completely natural. This same approach assisted with reducing my fibroids before pregnancy, helped with boosting my immune system, and dropping pounds. While I am not interested in losing weight while pregnant I know this method works for my body and isn’t poisoning my unborn child.

Baby Updates:

Today we are: 13 weeks and officially in our second trimester!!!!

Today the baby is the size of: a peach

Cravings: Watermelon (still) and soup

Next Appointment: TBD

Mochi Update: I think Mochi may have had some sympathy symptoms last week because all she wanted to do was sleep!

Mommy feels: A little weak after not having much of an appetite, but feeling stronger everyday.

Thank you for joining us on this wonderful journey!

Always with love,

Modo

Party of Four: The First Trimester

It’s with uncontrollable joy that I start a new series to Singing With the Volume Up entitled: “Party of Four” to document Byron and I’s journey of becoming parents. This first post will be a tad longer than the normal weekly updates that will start next Friday. This initial post will highlight pivotal moments in our first trimester and catch all those up on our pregnancy journey that are not too familiar with it.

Endo what?
Byron and I met our junior year in high school through a mutual friend and after a few dates were inseparable. Yeah, right!!!! He stalked me, buttered my parents up, and convinced me to take a ride in his car that broke down half way through our first date. We fell in love fast, which was easy because Byron was probably the kindest man I had ever met. Fast forward six years, we were engaged on the beaches of Malibu and on May 30, 2009 we became the happiest couple in the world when we married.

After dating for nearly 8 years before we were married, we didn’t find it any use of waiting to start having a family, we felt that our lives would be the honeymoon and why not have the joys of bringing a little one along with us. Approximately five months after we married, Byron and I begin trying for our first child. After a year of having no success I scheduled an appointment with my OB-GYN. Around the same time I begin have extremely terrible abdominal pains that eventually led to me being rushed to the emergency room. A few days later I was diagnosed with Endometriosis and just one month later I was having surgery to remove apple sized cysts from my ovaries. We were devastated. The doctors informed me that the endometriosis was aggressive and that if we didn’t get pregnant soon our chances of conceiving would be slim to none. To increase our chances of conceiving I quit my stressful job, sought a slower paced career, and packed up our lives and relocated for a fresh start. What a wonderful husband I have to agree to all this in a matter of weeks! God truly blessed me in the hubby department. It was in this new start that I was connected to an amazing fertility specialist by a very now dear friend of mine. After our first appointment it was discovered that I now had a very large fibroid that was potentially blocking access to my fallopian tubes. It was recommended that I get something called an HSG and SIS to test if my fallopian tubes were open, to measure how large my fibroid was, and if it had damaged my uterus. In late November Byron and I arrived at the UCSD Hospital to complete both procedures in the same day. It was hands down the most painful experience I have ever had in my entire life.

I cried throughout the entire process and at one point requested to terminate the procedure due to the pain. The doctor looked me straight in the eyes and said, “this is for your baby, let’s finish”, and I did. After the procedure she informed us that both my tubes were open and that the fibroid was in fact large but had not damaged my uterus. She encouraged us to try our hardest to get pregnant within these next three months as our chances of conceiving were over 30% higher. I chalked up her words as more fluff that I had heard from so many doctors and schedule our first fertility treatment appointment for one month later. As a way to boost my spirits my mother called me and reminded me about all the women that she knew that had gotten pregnant while using Geritol. I was tired; I didn’t want to do one more thing to give me a false sense of hope. She persisted so I went to the store, bought a few bottles, and we begin taking a shot of Geritol every night. A few weeks later we celebrated Christmas in Las Vegas with my family and I could barely keep my eyes open the whole time.

We came back home and I continued to feel as if leaving the bed was harder than taking the SATs. Thursday evening I came home and started to prepare for our first fertility appointment that was scheduled for the next morning, but something in my spirit told me to take a test. HOW AWESOME IS GOD!!!!!! I was pregnant. After three tests, an ER visit, and a few phone calls we accepted that this was really happening!!!! Some say it was the HSG, some say it was the Geritol, and some say it was because I stopped trying. All these could be true, but deep in my soul I know that it was because I gave it over to God. I truly believe that He led me to every single person on this journey to teach me that it is not about the end result but the journey. Without this amazing journey I could not be a testimony to so many women that are trying to conceive, to women who think their chances are over, to couples that news of infertility destroy their marriage, to myself every time I look in the mirror.

Our trip to the ER to make sure the little one was really in there!

The Adventures of the First Trimester in Photos (and geez was it a busy trimester)

Baby's first gift from Granny — Baby’s first gift from Granny

Shopping for diaper bags...of course mine has to be designer. I have an obsession I know. Don't tell Byron I have one from Juicy Courture too! Hahaha — Shopping for diaper bags…of course mine has to be designer. I have an obsession I know. Don’t tell Byron I have one from Juicy Courture too! Hahaha

He refused to carry my diaper bag so we got him his own. He thought it would be funny to mock me with his pose as well.

Baby's first visit to NYC, visiting Auntie Eb. Obviously we are best friends for a reason :-) — Baby’s first visit to NYC, visiting Auntie Eb. Obviously we are best friends for a reason 🙂

Reuniting with one of my favorite dadas, Katey in NYC

Redlands in NYC. We surprised Auntie Sne with the news at work and Ian almost spit up his coffee at breakfast with the great news

Baby's first trip to Texas. Hanging out with Auntie Lindsay and Cousin Ceta — Baby’s first trip to Texas. Hanging out with Auntie Lindsay and Cousin Ceta

Nothing like family. What a great trip to Texas. Grandma Lynda was so happy to have all of us together

Baby Updates:

Today we are: 11 weeks & 6 days (due date is Sept 14 and the same day as my dear friend Angela’s birthday). The first few weeks we were considered high risk due to the fibroid, however the risks are decreasing every week. The doctor told us that the size of the fibroid is compared to that of a baby’s head so as I progress in my pregnancy it will feel as if I am carrying twins at some points. Geez!!!! We are hoping the fibroid reduces in size so that I can have a natural birth, but if a C-section is the worst that could happen I will take it.

Today the baby is the size of: a large plum

Cravings: Watermelon, French fries, and beef (yes sometimes all together)

Next Appointment: March 8 (we should have a nice ultrasound to share with you next Friday)

Mochi Update: She has been completely and totally a baby since I have been pregnant. When she is sleepy she will literally crawl on top of my stomach and fall asleep. I hope this means she will be best friends with the baby.

Mommy feels: A lot better than the first few weeks, however trips to the restroom in the middle of the night have slightly increased this week.

Thank you for joining us on this wonderful journey!

Always with love,

Modo

Weekly pregnancy updates

Thank you all for your phone calls, emails, text messages, and posts congratulating Byron and I on this amazing journey of becoming parents. I will start weekly updates this Friday, March 1st. Stay tuned…..